"What is it like getting sober at 18?
Hi I’m Sam and I’m a person in recovery. 4.5 years ago I got clean and sober from all mind altering substances. Life was spiraling out of control back then and although it was the scariest/hardest thing I’ve ever done, I surrendered and asked for help. A lot of things crossed my mind when I made this decision like, Am I too young? Am I really done? What will do for my 21st birthday? All I knew was I couldn’t keep doing what I was doing and I didn’t know how to fix myself.
Obviously I knew what I was doing wasn’t healthy but it had become my new norm. Wake up, get fucked up, and then do whatever I had to do to stay fucked up. I won’t go into great detail about what I did but know I was the kinda guy back then that would steal your wallet and then help you try to find it- real scumbag shit. Rehab was the first step in my road to recovery and I can’t sit here and lie and say that I was stoked to go. Arriving there I thought my life was over and I was absolutely terrified. Walking in trying to put off this tough guy bravado when in reality I was an 18 year old, 110 pounds soaking wet, just a fragile shell of a human being. So after treatment I moved to Vermont to live with my Uncle. Great guy love him to death but honestly was in the mindset that Vermont was a wasteland and I was gonna be fucking miserable. Little did I know Vermont was the greatest move in my sobriety, I met other people who got sober young and everything started to look up. I thought I was only gonna be there for 3 months and I ended up staying 3 years. Recently I moved to New Hampshire and I’m now working in the recovery field at a treatment facility.
If you had told me 4.5 years ago this is what I would be doin
g I would tell you that your were cooked. I am so incredibly grateful for the life I live today and wouldn’t trade it for the world. Being sober through these years has taught me so much more than I could have ever imagined. I learned what it means to be a man and how to be a productive member of society. I can show up for my family and friends. I think the greatest thing I’ve learned is how to be comfortable with myself. Through out high school I was so uncomfortable in my skin and I didn’t know who I was, I was also getting bullied pretty frequently. I used to get bullied for liking anime and now I got an anime tattoo on my forearm, I just don’t give a fuck what people think of me and it’s so freeing. Life today still has its challenges don’t get me wrong, but it is far less stressful than the life I used to live.
I have no idea really how to wrap this up but I want to leave you with this, getting sober is by far the hardest/scariest/greatest thing I have ever done in my life. If you or someone you know are struggling don’t be afraid to reach out for help it could save you life. I am Sam and I’m a person in recovery living a fucking incredible life."
Written By Sam
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